For Silas Wendell – Born at home on November 18th, 9 lbs, 10 oz
The four days following your due date were long days. I wanted you to come, to be birthed into my arms. I was anxious to see you and hold you. I wondered, as the days wore on, if there was something holding me back from your birth. Kristen, our midwife, asked directly if I was afraid of labor or if there was something that was inhibiting me from going into labor. We talked through what might be in the way. On Saturday, the day before you were born, I was anxious to clear a space for you. I decided that I wasn’t going to work the following week. Your dad, brother and I went to Central Park to try to “walk you out.” We walked fast and hard and nothing happened. I was discouraged.